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In this write-up, we will discuss a simple and effective technique that I learnt while meditating on the Medito app. It’s a wonderful app for guided meditation, however, we can talk about it sometime later.
I start with the background, or as I like to call it the purpose. It is an optional section and can be skipped if you are in a hurry. Though, I feel techniques and habits need strong beliefs to sustain through thin and thick. Hence, I recommend investing your precious time there as well. Adding to that, I’d be thankful to you for reading since I’ve wanted to share this for a long.
I’m very susceptible to overthinking. Now, when overthinking gets mingled with events of grief, it gets difficult for me. On the contrary, I’m blessed that there aren’t many “critical” problems that I face in my life regularly. The downside of this issue-free life? Well, the occasional griefs stick with me for too long.
The last major setback in my life was my breakup (almost a year back) and I’m, in some way, still dealing with it. I’ve suffered from waking up every day for months to find myself getting sunk into an overthinking loop - the pain of the breakup, negative comparison to the person being chosen over me, the rejection, etc.
In this loop, I saw months fly by. Sometimes I was angry, then the next moment I was sad, then hopeful; a roller-coaster of emotions. All of it was fueled by overthinking. The past baggage used to catch up to me at unexpected times - just making me feel lost, sunk, and resorting to sleeping to pass through it.
I had to do something about it! Definitely! I couldn’t keep going on with a fear in my mind that a gloomy mood is running behind me. It’ll catch up to me anytime and then I’ll be a statue - still and lost in thoughts. That’s when I started trying different methods and, what I see as total serendipity, stumbled upon the useful technique in the Medito app.
The technique has two parts: one that I follow while meditating and the other I follow through the day. Both are similar in practice, only that one requires more involvement. There are days when I don’t feel like meditating and skip, and that’s when the other part comes in handy.
With closed eyes, I follow the below steps to not get involved in passing thoughts.
While working or just living through the day, many times I face thoughts that try to pull us in their spiral. It is at these times, I find the below steps useful.
First of all, I confess that I suck at following this technique. There are times when I let myself roam in my thoughts, the grief catches up to me and I sink, or I enjoy being lost in overthinking - connecting dots and passing time. That is one of the reasons why I decided to write about it - to get clarity and imbibe it in my lifestyle.
Talking about the technique, it felt no more than a gimmick to me initially. I used to ponder - how can such a simple technique help me with overthinking and grief! Luckily, I had no other option but to stick and try until I was sure it’s a hoax. Guess what! It wasn’t.
In the beginning, the technique took a lot of deliberate effort to practice. I would indulge in the thought while labelling them and had to remind myself to get out. Or I would forget to remind and just keep going! Though with continuous practice, I found that I had to put less effort each following day and I was having better days. So, I persisted and continued.
Now, after a couple of months of following the technique, I do have thoughts of grief. However, the good part is, with minimal effort, I’m able to get out of them. I let them pass almost naturally without indulging in them - especially if the thoughts are negative. I do let myself slip in overthinking good moments 😉 (not that it’s a good habit I’m proud of).